The Limos.com Forum Has Moved!!!

One day a man came home to find his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up", she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up & went golfing.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First of course he had to take an eye test. The optician showed him a card with the letters 'CZWIXNOSTACZ'. "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy".

And For Dick

51 years ago, Herman James of NC was drafted into the Army. On his first day in basic the Army issued him a comb & later on in the afternoon shaved his head. On his second day he was issued a toothbrush & that afternoon the Army Dentist yanked out 7 of his teeth. On the third day the Army issued him a jockstrap & they have been looking for Herman ever since.

It's never a nice day when you're on the receiving end

Dealing with some of the clowns in this industry should be as simple

Ahh, the memories. This poster was conceived in my recruiting office in East Meadow, Long Island. The girl (Cynthia) on the left dated my friend & one day we were BS'ing around & I suggested she pose for us in my Blues Coat & Cover. She took this idea to her photographer & this very patriotic poster soon was adorning Marines wall lockers around the globe.

Condie sizes up Bush

This joke is not to be used whilst working on weddings : !

I am married and have experienced all three rings :

1/ Engagement Ring

2/ Wedding Ring

3/ Suffer- Ring ! ( this one lasts the longest )

How do you turn a fox into a cow?



Marry it.

Easter Bunny Surprise

EPIPHANY

I heard a great Emo Phillips bit this afternoon.

A man gets a call from the hospital saying that his aunt has been involved in a serious accident.

When he arives at the hospital, he is met by the doctor who says, "Your aunt is totally brain-dead, but her heart is in good condition."

The man says, "Wow, I don't know what to do, we have never had a Democrat in the family before."

Getting Ready For The Buffet's At The Vegas LCT Convention

A man came home from work to find his wife thumbing through the phone book looking for plastic surgeons.

The husband asked what she was looking for, and she said, "I want breast enlargement surgery; I want big breasts."

The husband said, "that is too expensive, just get some toilet paper and rub it up and down between your breasts."

The wife said, "how will that help?"

The husband said, "I don't know, but it worked for your ass."

Limo Operator On The Beach

What's that say?

All Joking Aside - This Is Some Serious Shit

I ran into an old Marine Buddy of mine the other day.

Dude was hard corps all the way during his day.

First thing I noticed was he was sporting a earing.

I pointed it out & asked, "what the hell was that?"

He replied, "what the hell does it look like?"

I said, "a damn earing, how long have you been wearing that?"

"Since my wife found it in the pick-up" said he.

quote:

Originally posted by Digger:
I just know that with all of the competition in my area I have to play a different card to win, so far it's working. Like I always say, if looking like a dork or a penquin makes me money, I'm in.

Salicete, how did you know that I shop at Uniformal Warehouse? Tux = Boys size 16 - perfect fit.

You suggested them in another thread several months ago. I shop there too, great products, great prices, fast delivery.

Also-some of the product images looked familiar.

I just know that with all of the competition in my area I have to play a different card to win, so far it's working. Like I always say, if looking like a dork or a penquin makes me money, I'm in.

Salicete, how did you know that I shop at Uniformal Warehouse? Tux = Boys size 16 - perfect fit.

Go for it-it is your own personal vision of service and style that defines your service in our trade.

quote:

Originally posted by Digger:
I think ya'alls just jealous because I can get away with Pink. HA!! Honestly though, the girls dig it when I do b'ette parties with the Pink, otherwise it isn't used at all. Red is the standard but I have blue, green, burgundy, black and white too.

quote:

Originally posted by Digger:
I think ya'alls just jealous because I can get away with Pink. HA!! Honestly though, the girls dig it when I do b'ette parties with the Pink, otherwise it isn't used at all. Red is the standard but I have blue, green, burgundy, black and white too.

You are a VIP at Uniformal Warehouse, no doubt.